


Blow On Me

by codswallop



Series: Sex Bloopers [4]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Fever, Humor, M/M, Sex bloopers, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 19:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19837120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codswallop/pseuds/codswallop
Summary: “I thought you were supposed to besick,” Patrick said, putting down the juice and chicken soup he’d just brought home. “Was it all just a ploy to get out of working today, then?”





	Blow On Me

**Author's Note:**

> For all you instigators at the Rosebudd Motel. Keep the weird coming, I adore you all. <33333

“I thought you were supposed to be _sick_ ,” Patrick said, putting down the juice and chicken soup he’d just brought home. “Was it all just a ploy to get out of working today, then?”

“Oh, no, I am,” David said. “Definitely too sick to go to work. Definitely not too sick to have sex. It’s not the gross phlegmy kind of sick. It’s fine. Come here.”

Patrick came over and sat down on the edge of the bed and pressed the back of his hand and then his lips to David’s forehead. “Yeah, you do have a fever.” He pulled back to study David’s face. “You should be resting. You’re really pale. Have you taken anything for it?”

“I’ve been resting _all day_ ,” David said crossly. “Waiting for you to come home. Getting all worked up and overheated thinking about what I want to do to you. More rest is not what I need right now.”

“How about if I rest with you?” Patrick lay down next to him and kissed him gently on the side of his neck. “Wow. You’re overheated, all right.”

“Uh huh. So blow on me.”

Patrick laughed. “I’m sorry? Blow you? David, I don’t think—”

“No, blow _on_ me. Cool me down.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’ll have much effect on a fever,” Patrick told him, but he licked David’s hot neck, feeling his pulse jump under his tongue, and then blew softly on the same spot. 

David shivered. “Mmm. Feels good. I think you’re right, though; I just feel even hotter now. And all this talk of blowing…” His hands went to Patrick’s belt, unbuckling it, and he slid down on the bed, giving Patrick a look that would have been sexy if his eyes hadn’t been so glassy and hollowed.

“No,” Patrick said, trying to sound firm. “No way. Get back up here.”

David ignored him and continued opening Patrick’s jeans, kissing the soft skin just above the waistband of his boxers and then nuzzling very deliberately at his dick, which responded to this attention in the predictable manner. Patrick swore softly under his breath. “David—”

“I really really really want to,” David murmured, kissing his belly again. “Please? I don’t have a sore throat or anything, I swear, and I’ve been burning up all day with how much I want your cock in me…”

“Oh, christ,” Patrick said, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back.

“Yeah, just let me,” David said, and Patrick could hear the wicked smile he had on now. “Just relax, let me do this.” He pulled Patrick’s jeans open a little more and got his underwear down enough to release his cock, now fully hard. Patrick heard himself let out a whimper, heard David give a little answering moan of satisfaction, and then the soft wet heat of David’s mouth enveloped him.

The really hot… _burning_ heat of David’s mouth.

“Jesus fuck!” Patrick leapt up. David’s teeth scraped at him painfully as he pulled out, but that wasn’t his main concern just then. 

“Where are you going?” David demanded. 

Patrick was already across the room, tucking himself back into his jeans and buckling up again. “To look for a thermometer,” he called back, rummaging through his medicine cabinet. “You’re not just hot, you’re _volcanic_. I’m taking your temperature.”

“Well, that’s no fun,” David complained. “Unless you want to take it rectally. Preferably with your cock.”

“Yeah, nice try, but no thanks.” Patrick located the thermometer and washed it off with soap and warm water, then came back over to the bed. “I’m not interested in getting second-degree burns down there. I’m still recovering from the thing with the ginger. Here, open up.”

David sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, but accepted the thermometer. “I feel fine,” he said around it. “Maybe a little dizzy, is all.”

“Shush,” Patrick said, kissing him on the forehead again. “Or I’m calling Ted, to see if he’ll make a house call.” David’s eyes brightened again with sudden interest. “Oh my god,” Patrick groaned. “You can’t be serious. Who gets horny when they’re sick? What are you? You can’t actually be like this when you have a temperature of—” The thermometer beeped, and Patrick took it out from under David’s tongue and read it. “—almost _forty degrees_ , oh my god, I’m taking you to the ER, let’s go, get your shoes on.”

“Okay, first of all, calm down,” David said. “And second of all, no, we’re not doing that. It’s just a virus. I run a little hot when I get sick, usually, that’s all. It’s a thing! It’s not that weird!”

Patrick cocked his head and frowned at David critically. He was definitely too pale, his eyes too large and sunken, but he didn’t _sound_ delirious. They’d spent enough time in the Elmdale General ER recently; he wasn’t especially eager to go back. 

“Take some medicine, drink some juice, and we’ll watch a movie,” Patrick said finally. “If your temperature’s down at least a degree by the time it’s over, I’ll let you wait till tomorrow before I take you to a doctor. And we’re not having sex,” he added quickly. “I’m pretty sure you’re disqualified from the ability to consent once your fever goes over 39.”

David nodded reluctantly. “I get to pick the movie,” he clarified.

“Absolutely.” Patrick went to fetch the ibuprofen bottle and pour a glass of juice.

“What about just hand jobs?”

“Absolutely not. Here, drink.”

David swallowed the pills and drank his juice. “Kissing? Hair petting? Wiping my fevered brow with a cold compress while whispering soothing things into my ear?”

“Only if you keep your hands where I can see them at all times,” Patrick said. He found the remote and got back into bed, trying not to wince as David cuddled hotly up against him. “What are we watching?”

 _“The Philadelphia Story,”_ David said, as if it were obvious.

“What, again? You know I get jealous of the way you look at...well, at all three of them, actually.”

“That’s the idea,” David said, and pressed a burning kiss to Patrick’s temple.


End file.
